Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Secret blizzard transmission intercepted

A blizzard presentation to shareholders somewhere in a secret location...

Blizz dev: "Things have been going great and weve got this great new idea for an expansion! We just need three or four million for development, and it'll make us even more money - and given how we make millions each month, we were thinking..."

Shareholder, in a faintly german nazi voice: " vew thinkink..."

Blizz dev: "Could we have a few million to make this amazing new game world's bound to be a profitable as every subscriber will buy one for around one hundred dollars a unit and..."

Shareholder: "...we have heard of somethink else you haft made..."

Blizz dev: "..."

Shareholder: "Something called a....sparkle pony?" *the shareholder withdraws thier long filter cigarette, acrid smoke spewing from their lips, and slowly taps the burning ember into a rotten ashtray*

Blizz dev: "Ah yes, but, but we have this new game world idea..."

Shareholder: "Be tellink much did this sparkle pony be costink to develop?"

Blizz dev: "...around five hundred..."

Shareholder: "Five hundred thousand?"

Blizz dev: "*cough*, five hundred dollars...and actually...alot of that was the pizza we ordered...."

Shareholder: "So you are tellink me you want four million dollars to make around a hundred per subscriber?"

Blizz dev: "Yes, it's a great opportunity and.."

Shareholder: "When with the mere pittance of five hundred dollars, we could make twenty five dollars from millions of subscribers?"

Blizz dev: "Yes, I know it sounds good, but the game world..."

Shareholder: "I am thinking...I am thinking, yes, you will begin work on sparkle pony. Perhaps a star pony this time, yes? Perhaps one around the theme of...death?"

Blizz dev: "But my lord, I really must protest, we could...gah! gah! *Blizz dev starts clutching at his throat and slowly rises into the air, until his feet leave the ground, he face red as he chokes. Eventually he falls to the ground...dead!*

Shareholder: "You, the other one, your in command now. I want that rebel base found and I want this death star pony deployed now!"

Newly appointed blizz dev: "Yes, lord Vivendi" *bows and hurries away*

*Duh duh duh der da der der da durrrrrrr*

Kind of an addition to this.


  1. lol
    it's true - as a wowbot, i already had a sense that this was true.
    however, at long last wow players have the satisfaction of buying a horse they can, well, ride through ironforge:

  2. Hi Zac,

    I think it's only satisfying to them if they show it off to people who aren't also showing off their pony. Two people on sparkle ponies going 'wow' to each other is kind of incestuous! They need people who aren't trying to show off, to show it off too.

    Thos people they can show off to are the people who actually play for content. Content which is likely what shareholders will vote against, since for practically zero investment the company can make millions with more zero content objects like the pony. Why spend millions on new content when you can spend practically nothing and make millions?

    Set for meltdown, AFAICT.