There's something that happens when you find a +3 ranged weapon in D&D. It's a moment. A moment, commemorated in song...(gasp!: now with interwebs youtubes video!)
I met her in a dungeon down in old module XV-0.
Where you drink healing potions and it tastes just like cherry-cola
See-oh-el-aye cola
She walked up to me and asked me to roll a crit chance
I asked her name and with a clinking chain she said Bola
B-oh-el-aye Bola la-la-la-la Bola
Well I'm not the world's most DPS guy
But when she critted that night it almost broke their spine
Oh my Bola la-la-la-la Bola
Well I'm not dumb (int 10!) but I can't understand
Why she looks like nun chucks but gets thrown from the hand
Oh my Bola la-la-la-la Bola la-la-la-la Bola
Well we drank healing potions and ranged basic all night
Under dungeon torchlight
She picked me up when the enemy immobilised my knee
And said dear boy won't you crit with me
Well I'm not the world's most passionate guy
But when I looked in her stats (+3!) well I almost fell for my Bola
La-la-la-la Bola la-la-la-la Bola
la-la-la-la Bola la-la-la-la Bola
I threw her away
I walked to the door
I fell to the floor
I got down on my (yet again) immobilised knees
Then looked at her wrapped around a monsters throat, and she at me
Well that's the way that I want her to slay
And I always want it to be that way for my Bola
La-la-la-la Bola
Girls will be Eladrin and boys will be female Halflings (hot, but looks about 8 years old?)
It's a mixed up muddled up shook up pseudo medieval world except for Bola
La-la-la-la Bola
Well I'd only leveled up just a week before
And I'd never ever killed a succubi before
But Bola smiled and returned automatically to my hand
And said dear boy I'm gonna make you a paragon man
Well I'm not the world's most broken character build man
But I know what I am and I'm glad I can now ranged spam
And so is Bola
La-la-la-la Bola la-la-la-la Bola
Bola la-la-la-la Bola la-la-la-la Bola
No comments:
Post a Comment